Friday, 2 September 2011

What if Facebook was owned and run by the Indian Government?

Wonder what would have happened if the Indian government would have taken over Facebook? What would be the scenario then? Horrible? Isn’t it?

1) Getting an account on FB will be tedious for commoners. There will be an Indian Facebook Authority (IFA) with a 1000 pages long set of rules and regulations. People will have to send in their e-applications for getting their accounts. This will take a month for verification of the documents!

Then, another month for for account verification and then.. just …just 1 more month for account activation. Timings for applications and queries will be from 9 a.m to 5 p.m

2) The new facebook will have a lot to offer:

Every status you write, every photograph you upload, every video you post.. it will all be sent to theCensor Board and Ministry of Information and broadcasting before being posted.

The “congress ka haath”(High Five)

will replace the FB ka “thenga”(like)

3) Every facebook application will redirect the users to the government’s official website which will offer a variety of games such as Parliament wars, Congressville, Draw my Gameplan etc.

4) There will be virtual parliament sessions in group chats!

5) Foreign Ministers won’t have to leave for meetings in other countries. All the matters will be solved online. Ministry of Foreign affairs will have a fanpage be headed by foreign minister. “ Hey hina, you really stole the limelight here, add me!!” 

6) Anna hazaare will go on a virtual fasting for the enforcement of e-lokpal bill. But finally, the ministers wont come under the knife in the final bill.

7) Then, facebook will start losing the users. People will again send in applications for deactivation of the accounts. It will take several months.

There won’t be any Spams on Facebook, there will be only Scams.

Government will start incurring losses.

Facebook is a $ 50 billion enterprise. After years in operation, only the the politicians will be left wandering on facebook. Finally ,government will realize that it has lost its grip on facebook and will open the stakes for private companies and will happily sell it off for 50 lacs.


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About Shubham..

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Jamshedpur, Jharkhand, India
A cant-live-without-technology type of teen...Blogger by hobby...